vent 1.0

Today I wanted to put a co-worker in the shredder. Not because they made an innocent mistake.  Not because it's going to cost the company money.  Not because it's going to cost me, personally - my paycheck, money.  Not because I have to work harder to fix things.  No, not any of these.  But because they would not own it.

I've made 3 major job mistakes in my life.  The first one I actually repeated for a few years: not understanding that perception is reality.  I'll leave that vague because it's too long for this now.  The second was delegating to a known flake and not being there to micro-manage.  I don't like being managed - I expect if I give you a task; you'll do it.  Especially if the CEO is involved aka your ass will be on the line.  I took the fall for that one as it was my responsibility but the truth always comes out even if I'm the type of person who refuses to pass the buck - the EA always knows. (EA = executive assistant - as in EA to the CEO; flake got his dues). The third was mine and mine alone.  I got cocky with a reseller spiff calculation and didn't double check it.  I know, that's jargon, but the point is, I got cocky.  You know, Grandpa always says, measure twice, cut once.  I measured once.  It cost Xerox a few grand.  Mind you that's a few grand in a multi-million dollar budget, but that's a few grand in a culture that is not allowed to fuck up.  I owned that.  That was my fault.  No one did it but me.  The sad fact??  I found my own mistake before anyone else did and I fessed up. 

So, said co-worker I respect beyond belief.  They're damn good at what they do.  They look out for us and customer alike when it comes to the aspect of their job.  I stop at that.  If you hinder future money for your company because of your pride, you're no longer an asset.  If you cannot have the decency to talk to your coworker to their face with an invited mediacy - you're a coward and you know you're wrong.  Own your mistakes.  I'm getting buttfucked for a mistake that is not mine to the tune of....well, let's just say more than I'd like to admit.  I will not rub their nose in this fact because that is not my place.  Fact is, I'm expendable.  We all are as employees. 

Ugh. Point is...I've done it, you've done it, we've all made mistakes.  Suck up that fucking ego, be respectful, and own your problems.  I've eaten crow more often than I'd like to admit.  And I'm still horrible at it in my personal life.  But money is money and you better believe if you ever come across me in business, I'm a beyond fair manager (with references) but I will cut you loose in heartbeat if you cost me and can't have the decency to learn from your mistakes. 

Just so you know, I won today.  It's not the end of this, but I did win this battle.  I find it unfortunate that I feel both of us will still have our hands on our holsters for awhile.  That's not how I wanted it.