Domestic Destruction

Ante Up

2010-12-17T16:09:00.000-08:00

Every couple of weeks I find myself buying more yarn for this knitting habit I'm working on. I picked up 2 skeins each of a "lemongrass" and a navy blue of the Lion Brand Yarn Wool-Ease Thick & Quick because I wanted to move to a thicker yarn and higher gauge needle so that I could feel like I was getting more done, so that it would be easier to work than the cotton and because I'm sophmoric and like to laugh at something called Thick & Quick.

Admittedly, I had to pop my DVD back in to remind myself how to cast-on. I just haven't done it enough times to have it memorized. It says in the shopping list to use size 11 needles but the skein says 9 and I only have as big as 9, so that's what I used. I am thinking I need a few larger gauge needles and much longer needles, but that will have to wait. The needles that Nici uses on the DVD, by the way, are beautiful and I have needle envy. No longer content with what I thought were my fab bamboo needles now. Yarn collecting, needle envy, what's next?

Here's casting on and a few rows with this particular yarn and these needles. It's very soft yard, makes a very dense fabric with this set up and it's very easy to use. Very.

So, my goal with this set was again, more practice and also to see how to do stripes by both cutting and tying and by 'carrying' the yarn. I have to say, they were both much easier than I thought they'd be.

Here's when I cut the blue, tied on the green and started the first row with the green. Now, what I didn't know was that later when I started carrying the yarn (read all of the directions through first, becky!) that I'd want to make sure I did it on the same side everytime, thus making an even number of rows everytime I switched, so my first set of blue was only 3 rows; but everything continuing afterwards is 4 rows.

As you can see below, this was sort of my fear with using a plain dark color as is recommended - I won't be able to see little strings like this snag next to the green...but then, if it's the same color, you really don't notice when you go back down the row. And when I worked this row again, I just let that little blue snag slip back off and it's ok. So, not really a big deal, but the fuzzier yarn does get a few more of these little snags. I'm sure my experience level has nothing to do with that (ahem).

Here, below, is a few rows of each color, alternating. From left to right, you can see the first tails from starting. The second 2 tails are from cutting the blue and tying on the green. The next two tails are from adding in the green again and carrying each the blue and the green yard instead of cutting it.

The next two photos are the front and back what I got done in a few hours, carrying the yarn up the side. I need to get better at that little twist when I carry the yarn - you just twist the yarn you're carrying when you get to the end of that row. Nici explains it better and shows it better, but I think sometimes I'm twisting it more than needed. And once, I forgot to carry it so there's a big loop. I'm not fixing it because I will eventually rip all of this out and use larger needles. This has created a very dense, thick and soft fabric, but much too dense to use for a simple scarf. I'd have to make a welcome mat if I wanted to keep this! ha. no.

Ok, stay tuned. Next I will get bigger needles and attempt to finish something. Then, the purl stitch! Yay!

The Cat Ate My Homework

2010-12-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

I really have been working on my knitting. Sometimes. Renfield and I sat down recently to discuss my lack of progress. See, he's been very worried that I've been spending too much time knitting with this unforgiving cotton Sugar'N'Cream yarn that I should really save for crocheting. It's not making me feel very accomplished anyway with how slow going it has been. I keep telling myself I need the practice that the repetition provides, but honestly I've been scared to get back to my DVD. I've been afraid that I'm doing something wrong or that I'll have to develop new habits because mine are all screwed up....I just don't want to let Nici down! Renfield told me I was being a pussy (he'd know), showed me some tricks and smacked me upside the head. I have photos to prove it. Before I bombard you with a bunch of kitty photos, I will tell you that I did find out that I apparently do a cable stitch just fine. Really - I popped in the Nici's DVD and watched the cast on section again, then the knit or cable stitch a few times. It seems I prefer the English method to the Continental method, but really I'm doing just fine. I got quite a bit of length on my practice piece out of a little over half of a skein of the cotton yarn, but it's time to set it aside and move on to better yarn, chunkier and a larger guage to both make me feel like I'm making progress and to feel more like a real knitter. Oh, and Nici says to do this in her instructions. Commence silly cute photos to distract you from my lack of posts:

The length acheived

Renfield showing technique

vent 1.0

2010-11-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

Today I wanted to put a co-worker in the shredder. Not because they made an innocent mistake. Not because it's going to cost the company money. Not because it's going to cost me, personally - my paycheck, money. Not because I have to work harder to fix things. No, not any of these. But because they would not own it.

I've made 3 major job mistakes in my life. The first one I actually repeated for a few years: not understanding that perception is reality. I'll leave that vague because it's too long for this now. The second was delegating to a known flake and not being there to micro-manage. I don't like being managed - I expect if I give you a task; you'll do it. Especially if the CEO is involved aka your ass will be on the line. I took the fall for that one as it was my responsibility but the truth always comes out even if I'm the type of person who refuses to pass the buck - the EA always knows. (EA = executive assistant - as in EA to the CEO; flake got his dues). The third was mine and mine alone. I got cocky with a reseller spiff calculation and didn't double check it. I know, that's jargon, but the point is, I got cocky. You know, Grandpa always says, measure twice, cut once. I measured once. It cost Xerox a few grand. Mind you that's a few grand in a multi-million dollar budget, but that's a few grand in a culture that is not allowed to fuck up. I owned that. That was my fault. No one did it but me. The sad fact?? I found my own mistake before anyone else did and I fessed up.

So, said co-worker I respect beyond belief. They're damn good at what they do. They look out for us and customer alike when it comes to the aspect of their job. I stop at that. If you hinder future money for your company because of your pride, you're no longer an asset. If you cannot have the decency to talk to your coworker to their face with an invited mediacy - you're a coward and you know you're wrong. Own your mistakes. I'm getting buttfucked for a mistake that is not mine to the tune of....well, let's just say more than I'd like to admit. I will not rub their nose in this fact because that is not my place. Fact is, I'm expendable. We all are as employees.

Ugh. Point is...I've done it, you've done it, we've all made mistakes. Suck up that fucking ego, be respectful, and own your problems. I've eaten crow more often than I'd like to admit. And I'm still horrible at it in my personal life. But money is money and you better believe if you ever come across me in business, I'm a beyond fair manager (with references) but I will cut you loose in heartbeat if you cost me and can't have the decency to learn from your mistakes.

Just so you know, I won today. It's not the end of this, but I did win this battle. I find it unfortunate that I feel both of us will still have our hands on our holsters for awhile. That's not how I wanted it.

Stress About Selflessness

2010-11-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

My mother as a crafter is a quilter first and foremost. She's crocheted afghans, made dresses for me and now my daughter, we've all gotten pajamas, matching Hawaiian shirts (it was the 80s), and lots of pillow cases but her heart is in quilting. When I turned 16, I got a lavender and white double Irish chain quilt. And I knew at 16 what a double Irish chain pattern was; quilting was so engrained in my childhood.

This isn't mine, but you get the idea

AND for my middle school outdoor school, my mom made a Christmas Log Cabin pattern to RAFFLE away to raise money!!! For me! Anywho, point is, I was raised to know how much work goes into something like knitting, quilting, embroidery, and if you give it to someone it's a HUGE labor of love expected to be appreciated. I've heard the ladies on Knit Happens (episode here) talk about why they don't knit for the holidays and I sort of felt guilty for the puff-paint sweatshirts my grandma painted for me that I never wore.

Then! Bust magazine posted on their FB profile today about "Virgin Knitters" - A First Scarves Exhibit. No thank you Rumpelstiltskin!

Ok, you're wondering why this deserves a post. My darling devil of a daughter insists she wants my practice piece which I so affectionately call the 'wash cloth'. Now, I know it's crap, I know it's silly, but it's the first piece of nothing I've knitted and I'm sort of attached to it. I'll never knit a first piece of nothing again.

DDD: "Mom, can I have that when you're done with it?"

Me: "Why would you want it? It's just a practice piece."

DDD: "Please mom, I just want it."

Me: "But it's just a wash cloth at best."

DDD: "Mom, I really just want it."

And we go on and on and finally I say, fine, and she can have it. But I resent her for it in that loving mother way.

PS, I just want to say I'm so excited and feel so special that someone posted a response to my blog on the Knit Happens! I feel so special.

PPS or is it PSS? Who cares: I got my knitting DVD and Ms. Nici McNally has me all calm and secure and insists that I can do this. Ok, Nici. On Wednesday, when the kids go to bed, it's going to be you and me and a glass of wine. Wait. I'll need another hand for that wine....OMG!!! How do knitters do it?!?! Must contruct long straw tonight....

Patience is a Virtue AKA Go Fuck Yourself

2010-10-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

Soooo...I will break one of my own rules and make a rather long posting. Well, longish for me.

I went to Atlanta on business Oct. 4-8 thinking I'd be able to work on my knitting there. Um, well, no. That didn't happen obviously or there would have been a post. Sorry. Then upon coming home, I have a wonderful distraction that I missed very much. So....

I had to kick my ass into high gear to make sure the lovely ladies at Knit Happens don't think I'm a total flake. Last Friday I did some more online research hoping to find some videos to download since I was going to be out of internet range for the weekend. I went to Amazon.com as well and found a great 3-DVD set to order for only about $15, but that wasn't going to do me much good right away, so I thought I'd check out my LYS (isn't that cool? that's what the hip knitters call Local Yarn Store! It has nothing to do with LSD!).

Ok, I'm not going to name said LYS because if you haven't noticed, I'm an impatient bitch. I research things before I buy them, I move and think very quickly and I expect everyone else to do the same. That doesn't always work out. I called the LYS before going and asked if they had instructional DVDs (I mentioned before, that for whatever reason, I need a real visual for knitting). They said yes, but not the one I wanted from Amazon.com. Ok, fine, I decided I'd swing by and check it out. Note: I have a 5 year old and a 6 year old in tow. I get to the store, get pointed in the right direction by the lackadaisical 20-something working on her knitting project only to find there is a tiny selection - mostly by the same pink-haired (guessing local) lady. Each DVD is $30. I read the back of the #1 Beginning or whatever it was called - mind you I'm looking for very basic stuff like how to cast on, knit the fucking yarn, and bind off. Right? On the back it read something like "better casting on" or "tighter" or something. I asked the store clerk if she knew if it actually showed casting on. SHE PROCEEDED TO READ THE BACK COVER TO ME. It took every fiber in my being to keep from letting her know that, yes, I can read, I just can't knit. Be nice, girl, be nice, and Hazel, put that down. I asked her if she's actually seen any of these DVDs (ok, after this display I realize that WAS a stupid question but I was still working on the nice thing, remember?), and Alex, no you can't have any of that ancient candy. Anywhoo, I left without buying anything and before the kids broke anything. I refrain from naming the store only because they have reasonably priced and recommended classes and I don't need some passive PDXer getting all pissy with me. Yet.

So, I decided to wing-it with the shitty downloads I found and my handy-dandy, trusty Reader's Digest Complete Guide to Embroidery. I've taught myself so much from this book - it's a bible for all things textile - even with the 1970s images. I don't care. I love it. I sat down and just made myself get to it. I started with 7 gauge metal needles (just wait on that one, ok?) and cotton yarn. Cotton because I didn't want to ruin my good wool yarn - it's just practice. I know it doesn't have the give I might need starting out, but I'm poor and I have something like 8 skeins of this shit. The metal needles because the skein said 7 gauge and out of the 4 sets of bamboo needles I have (my mom spoils me), none were 7. So, here's where I insert a picture of "The Set Up":

Look at me - all surrounded by quilts, warmth and love.

So, I played the cast-on video from the Hello Knitty site over and over and over because she's so damn fast and it's really grainy. I finally get it on - something like 23 and it's all shit, and I don't even get how I did it, but I wasn't about to rip it off and start over - this is just practice, remember? I'll practice that more when I get a better visual. Anywhoo, I proceed to then try some of this knitting stuff with a combination of the videos and my trusty book. I screwed up the very first row by not pulling the yarn correctly through some of the stitches/loopy thingies, but, again, fuck if I'm going to rip it out. I got about 5 rows with my crooked ass knitting and those fucking metal needles (in something like 4 hours - FML), here's a pic of that pretty detail I invented:

Soooo, at about 5 rows or 7 or whatever amount of swearing I was at, I thought fuck it. I'm going to go up a gauge to 8 and try these bamboo needles out. OH MY FUCKING GOD. That's why they cost so much! The metal needles have now been retired to my glove box for my next fit of road rage, and I swear on Buddha's belly to only use bamboo needles ever again. I went UP a gauge with cotton yarn mind you and it was still way easier. Ok, so I only got so far in 3 evenings and how the fuck I ended up somehow with a rib stitch I have NO IDEA, but I feel a little bit more at peace that I can move forward with my bamboo needles of power. This is what a few weeks of anxiety and 3 days of frustration acheived:

Half of a wash cloth. I'm damn proud of my half of a wash cloth.

Now, to put some of my frustration in perspective, this was done in a couple hours, while watching a movie and talking, by crochet:

Simple, basic - but it's like riding a bike to me. It takes no effort. I learned crochet at about 7 years old. I've taught myself needlepoint, ribbon embroidery, cross stitch, etc. Knitting has been my Moby Dick. Now, maybe with bamboo, I can finally make knitting my bitch.

Knitting is relaxing - right? Right?!?! RIGHT?!?!?!

2010-09-27T16:55:00.000-07:00

A few years ago let's just say I was in a relationship that was on it's way down hill (read: careening out of control at the speed of a Mcqueen movie). I thought, hey, knitting is supposed to be relaxing, right? I'll pick up knitting!

I read some books...and couldn't quite grasp the whole cast-on thing. Usually I can look at diagrams and figure stuff out, but it wasn't happening. So, the YouTube lightbult went off and I looked online. With a few demonstrations, I got the cast-on thing going. Ok, then the next row...and another....this isn't very relaxing. My hands are super tense, this has to be too tight - I can barely get the needle back in...something is wrong. Ok, 4 rows into it, I rip it all back down and start again because we all know if you do something again the exact same way you'll get a different result.

My hands felt arthritic and cramped, I was NOT relaxed and I gave up like any reasonable psycho would.

But I left it all on the needle. It's still there in the yarn basket - a testament to my short temper.

Watch Me Flail

2010-09-23T17:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I've always been good with the self-deprecating humor and when some cool chicks I dig posted they wanted someone to blog about learning to knit I thought what a great opportunity to make a fool of myself! I've always wanted to learn to knit, I love taking on way too many projects and it's a good reason to resurrect this dusty blog that I buried long ago. So, here goes nothin'. Over the next however long it takes me to hang myself with my own yarn, I'll post a few paragraphs of me trying to knit. I'm already arming myself with friends to cry to, copious bottles of wine (to dye the yarn, of course) and impossible expectations of myself.